Gay and LGBTQ+ retirement communities: what exists, and how to choose

By Eric

Yes, they exist, but there are still very few, and places are hard to get. The US has a handful of LGBTQ+-focused or LGBTQ+-friendly developments. The UK has Tonic@Bankhouse in London, and Kindred House is being built in Manchester. So most people end up choosing between a dedicated community, a welcoming mainstream one, or a home shared with people they choose.

If you're in your fifties or sixties and starting to think about where you'll live later on, you're probably not only thinking about stairs and bus routes. You're wondering whether you'll have to explain your partner to a care worker, or go quiet about your life to fit in. That worry is common. When Tonic, Stonewall Housing and Opening Doors London asked 624 LGBTQ+ people over fifty in London in 2020, 56% said they'd prefer an LGBTQ+-specific retirement community. Only 1% chose a general one without any LGBTQ+ accreditation (Building Safe Choices, 2020). That's a London survey, so treat it as London, but it shows what people want.

You don't have to be close to retiring, or need any help at home, to start thinking about this. Finding the right place and the right people can take years, and you have more choice while you're still planning ahead. On Among Our People, you can post your own co-housing or shared-living idea in Community Living, or find people who are already planning one.

What exists in the United States

The US has the most choice, though it's still small and spread thin.

Affordable buildings for people 62 and over. These are usually LGBTQ+-friendly rather than LGBTQ+-only. At The Pryde in Boston, for example, anyone aged 62 or over who met the income rules could apply (Massachusetts Municipal Association). The John C. Anderson Apartments in Philadelphia opened in 2014 with 56 flats. In New York, Stonewall House in Brooklyn has 145 flats and Crotona Pride House in the Bronx has 83, and the charity SAGE runs an LGBTQ+ centre and services in both. The Pryde opened in Hyde Park in 2024 with 74 flats and had more than 700 applications (Christian Science Monitor, 2025). It now takes names for a waiting list, which gives you an idea of how hard these places are to get.
Co-housing. Village Hearth in Durham, North Carolina, is a 55+ co-housing community of 28 homes, set up by and for LGBTQ+ people and allies. Residents own their own homes and run the shared parts of the community together.

What exists in the UK

Tonic@Bankhouse, London. It opened in 2021 in the Bankhouse building in Vauxhall, for people aged 55 and over. Tonic owns or part-owns 19 of the flats there: 17 sold through shared ownership and two let at an affordable rent. In July 2025 Tonic became the first LGBTQ+ housing association registered with the Regulator of Social Housing, which should help it build more. Right now none of its flats are free, to buy or to rent, so if you're interested, join Tonic's register of interest to hear about anything that comes up.

Kindred House, Manchester. This is an extra care scheme (your own flat, with care on site day and night if you need it) for people over 55, where most residents will be LGBTQ+. It's being built in Whalley Range with 80 homes for social rent, and the LGBT Foundation expects it to open in 2027. It says details of how to apply will come nearer the time, and you can sign up for its updates now.

How to tell if a mainstream community is welcoming

Most people will look at ordinary retirement housing or care homes too, either because there's nothing LGBTQ+-specific near them, or because they'd rather stay close to family and friends. A brochure with a rainbow on it doesn't tell you much. These questions tell you more:

Is there a written policy against discrimination that names sexual orientation and gender identity?
What training have the staff had on looking after older LGBTQ+ people, and when?
Can a same-sex partner share a room? And can I name my partner or a friend as the person you contact and involve in decisions, and what paperwork would that need?
Do the forms let you name your own family, including chosen family?
Are there LGBTQ+ residents already, and could I talk to one who's happy to share what it's like?
How do you protect a trans resident's privacy and dignity day to day, including with personal care?

In the US, you can also check whether a community takes part in the Long-Term Care Equality Index. It's run by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation and SAGE, and it scores a community's actual policies and practices rather than its marketing. In 2025, 274 communities in 33 states took part, and 27% earned one of its two top ratings. Taking part is voluntary, so a community that isn't listed isn't necessarily unwelcoming. It just means you'll need to ask.

Other ways people are choosing to live

Waiting for a place in a building that may be hundreds of miles away isn't the only option. Some people are building something themselves.

Friends living close together. Separate homes within walking distance of each other, three flats in the same street, say. You keep your own front door and still have people nearby.

A shared house. Friends buying or renting one home together. It works best when everyone agrees the money and the rules early and puts them in writing, including what happens if someone wants to leave.

Co-housing. Private homes with shared space and shared decisions, like Village Hearth. Most start with a small group of people who meet regularly for a couple of years before anything gets built. If there's nothing like that near you, you can start one in Community Living.

Homeshare. If you have a spare room, you can offer it to someone who needs somewhere affordable to live, often at a lower rent, or none, in return for help around the house or company. Every arrangement is different, so agree early on what each of you does, what stays private, and how either of you can end it. It can make it easier to stay in your own home for longer.

Wherever you live, company matters as much as the building. In the AARP's 2024 survey of more than 2,200 LGBTQ+ adults aged 45 and over in the US, half already felt socially isolated at times, and 63% of trans and non-binary people did (AARP, 2024). If you're in Scotland, our guide to groups for older LGBTQ+ people in Edinburgh, Glasgow and Dundee is a good place to start, and how to make LGBTQ+ friends near you works at any age.

Where this fits with Among Our People

We don't run retirement housing. What we do is help people find each other. The notice board in Community Living is new, so an idea posted now won't get lost: say what you have in mind and where, even if it's only a rough plan. It often starts with a conversation between people who want similar things from later life. If you have a spare room, or need one, there's the live-in homeshare, and Find local friends helps with the part no building can do for you.

Nobody's asked to prove anything about who they are, and every new listing is checked before it goes live (member safety on Among Our People). If you're starting to picture where you'll live in ten years, put your idea in Community Living and see who answers. ✦

General information, not legal or financial advice. Always check your own situation.

Last reviewed: 3 November 2026

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