What is a homeshare, and is it right for you? A guide for LGBTQ+ people

By Eric

A homeshare is a room in someone's home in exchange for an agreed amount of help and company, instead of the full rent. In a typical UK Homeshare programme that means about ten hours of help a week and no rent, with a monthly fee to the programme that makes the match. Outside the UK, and when people arrange it themselves, the terms can look quite different.

It's one of the few housing arrangements where both sides come out ahead. One person has a spare room and would like someone around, or a hand with the things that have got harder. The other needs somewhere they can afford. Done well, it's also a friendship. Done badly, it's two people stuck in a house with different ideas of what they agreed, so most of this guide is about the agreeing.

How a homeshare works

There are two people. The householder owns or rents the home and has a room to spare. They're often older, but not always. The homesharer moves in, and is often a student or someone starting out in a new city.

In the UK, the network Homeshare UK says homesharers give "roughly 10 hours per week of help with agreed tasks" and don't pay rent. Both people pay the programme a monthly fee instead. Fees vary by provider and can change, but Homeshare UK's own figures put the average at about £170 a month for the homesharer and £140 for the householder. A match usually lasts six to twelve months, and the first month is normally a trial.

The help is everyday stuff: shopping, cooking a few meals together, putting the bins out, walking the dog, being in the house in the evenings. It isn't personal care. Homeshare UK is clear that a homesharer must not provide personal care, such as help with washing or dressing. If that's needed, a separate care service can come in alongside the homeshare.

In the US the model varies more. At HomeShare Vermont, for example, the room is offered in exchange for rent, help around the home or a mix of the two. There's a two-week trial, and a one-off match fee on a sliding scale from $60 to $500 depending on income.

Why it can matter more for LGBTQ+ people

Sharing a home means sharing your life. The photos on the shelf, who comes round on a Sunday, the friends you go dancing with, how you talk about a partner who has died. If you're the householder, you want someone in the house who's easy with all of that. If you're the homesharer, you don't want to spend a year editing yourself at the kitchen table.

And plenty of us are looking for exactly this kind of company. In AARP's 2024 survey of 2,212 LGBTQ+ adults aged 45 and over in the United States, 48% said they often or sometimes felt isolated from others (AARP, 2024). Company in the house is one reason people look at a homeshare. It won't solve isolation by itself, but it can mean someone to talk to at the end of the day.

General homeshare programmes do careful checks and many match people very well. They may not ask how someone feels about sharing a kitchen with a gay man, or with a trans housemate. So raise it yourself at the first meeting. It's a normal question about whether you'll be comfortable living together, and the answer tells you a lot.

Two ways to set one up

Through a programme. A Homeshare provider interviews both of you, takes references, runs a DBS check on the homesharer, looks at the home, makes the match and checks in while it runs. You pay for that support. In the UK, Homeshare UK has a map of local providers, and not every area has one.

Arranging it yourselves. You find each other directly, agree the terms between you and pay no programme fee. You also choose who you live with, which matters if you'd like that person to be LGBTQ+ or simply at ease with it. The trade-off is that the checks are yours to do. Meet more than once and call the references. Agree a trial period before anyone gives up their old room.

What to agree before anyone moves in

Write it down, even if you get on brilliantly. A page you both sign is far easier to come back to than a memory of a chat.

The help. Which tasks, roughly how many hours a week, and which evenings you're both at home.
The money. No rent, a reduced rent or, in some arrangements, a wage. A paid arrangement can count as a job, with its own tax and employment rules, so check what that means where you live before you agree to one.
Meals. How many you share, and who buys the food.
Visitors. Friends, partners, overnight guests, and how much notice is fair.
The house. Keys, quiet hours, which rooms are shared and which are private.
The trial. How long it lasts, and how either of you can end the arrangement, with how much notice.
Changes. What happens if the householder starts to need more support than you agreed. That's the moment to bring in a care service, not to stretch the homeshare.

Never pay money to anyone before you've met them and seen the home. Our guide on how to spot a rental scam before you pay anything goes through the warning signs. If you're the householder, the house rules guide on our sister site, Lodger house rules: what to agree before someone moves in, has a template you can adapt.

Two things to know in England

The rules depend on where you live, so check your own country. In England:

Where the homesharer stands. Gov.uk says a lodger who shares your kitchen, bathroom or living room is likely to be an excluded occupier, who only needs reasonable notice and can be asked to leave without going to court (gov.uk). A homeshare where someone helps instead of paying rent doesn't always fit that lodger picture, so their status depends on the real arrangement. Get advice before you rely on any notice rule, and agree a notice period in writing at the start.
Council tax. A householder who lives alone usually gets 25% off their council tax. A homesharer will normally count as another adult, which can end that discount, although some people aren't counted, such as full-time students (gov.uk). Check with your council whether a homesharer changes your bill before they move in.

Where this fits with Among Our People

On Among Our People you can offer or find a live-in homeshare. Hosts say what help they're looking for and what they offer in return, whether that's a lower rent, no rent or a wage. People looking for a room can say on their card that they're open to a homeshare and what they could help with.

Because the host is opening their home, everyone who applies for a live-in homeshare confirms who they are first, with a photo of their ID and a quick selfie, checked by Stripe. We don't keep a copy. It's free for now for members whose profile is 100% complete. Messages only open once both of you have shown interest, every new listing is checked before it goes public, and you can report or block anyone. There's more in our guide to member safety on Among Our People and on How we look out for you.

We don't run the match for you or check in afterwards the way a Homeshare programme does, and we don't do criminal record checks. So take the steps above seriously, and agree a trial before anyone moves their things in. Nobody's asked to prove anything about who they are. It's self-declaration, the same as everywhere on Among Our People.

If you're further along and thinking about a whole community rather than one housemate, our guide to gay and LGBTQ+ retirement communities covers what exists and how to choose.

A spare room and someone who needs one. With the right person, and the terms agreed on paper, it can be the best arrangement either of you has had in years. ✦

General information, not legal or financial advice. Always check your own situation.

Last reviewed: 5 November 2026

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